Although it’s rarely talked about in the open, it is a severe problem that affects some men.
We’ve heard that, without understanding partners, it can lead to moments of deep embarrassment and, if not properly diagnosed, an overall loss of confidence.
It’s called Premature Mastication Syndrome and its victims often do not know they have it until it is too late.
Premature Mastication Syndrome is a phenomenon that occurs when certain men (most often men with self-identity issues), in a moment of great passion, prematurely open their mouths in an attempt to deliver an intelligent dissertation, speech, or some other communication, but spontaneously erupts in self-congratulatory dribble.
Apparently, Pennsylvania’s Senator Arlen Specter (the Democrat-turned-Republican-turned-Democrat) suffers from Premature Mastication Syndrome and, on Tuesday, masticated all over himself in front of 4,000 Lords and Ladies from the House of Labor, as well as labor’s new king, Richard Trumka.
At the AFL-CIO’s convention in Pittsburgh, Senator Specter chose to speak about the delusionally-dubbed Employee Free Choice Act
(EFCA). A controversial bill in Congress that Sen. Specter has been at the center of for more than two years.
[Senator Specter voted for cloture on the bill in 2007 (sending a signal of support for the measure) before turning against the bill earlier this year, then he supported the bill (again) when he switched parties.]
Whether it was his intention or not, Sen. Specter spilled the beans on a secret-deal that he and fellow senators allegedly made with labor leaders on the job-destroying legislation, claiming
the bill would pass the Senate by the end of the year.
To make matters worse for himself, Specter even leaked his version of EFCA to the Washington Post
[Hey, if you’re going to embarrass yourself by prematurely masticating in public, you might as well go all the way, right?]
Here is what WaPo had to say:
An hour before President Obama appeared at the AFL-CIO convention here to reaffirm his support for bill, Specter told hundreds of cheering union officials that by year’s end Congress would pass labor law legislation that “will be totally satisfactory to labor.”
Well, apparently his partners were less than satisfied (how embarrassing!).
According to Secret Ballot Watch:
Arlen Specter made quite a splash yesterday with his declaration that a new version of the Employee Free Choice Act had garnered the 60 votes needed for passage in the Senate.
Yesterday, the newly Democratic lawmaker appeared before the AFL-CIO convention. He announced that a compromise on EFCA has been “pounded out” and would pass by year’s end – to great applause.
After his speech, Specter offered reporters some details of the “new” legislation: a deal that apparently key allies weren’t aware of, especially dropping the “card check” provision of the bill.
National Journal’s CongressDaily sorts out the details here:
“After a key legislator described a pending compromise on card-check legislation Tuesday, backers scrambled to tamp down speculation that a deal on the labor reform bill has been finalized.
“‘There is no final deal in place,’ said incoming AFL-CIO President Richard Trumka.
Ooops! Thus, by declaring a deal was done on EFCA (when it really wasn’t), Arlen Specter revealed that he suffers from Premature Mastication Syndrome and, in the process, caused great embarrassment for himself.
Note: Although rarer, some women are also known to have Premature Mastication Syndrome.